Dealing with a Loss

I was at the office yesterday meeting with clients when I received an email from a former coworker at the gym at which I teach yoga classes. It was entitled, "Sad News." Sad news indeed, I found out that one of my coworkers, a personal trainer at NW Sport and Health, had died yesterday in a freak accident while on his way to work. A tree branch had fallen, knocking him unconscious and caused such grave injuries that he passed yesterday morning. Ben was a wonderfully sweet and happy man, generous with his smiles and warm personality. Even when I first met him, he went out of his way to make me feel welcome and a part of the Sport and Health family. I'm so deeply saddened and shocked that such a good, kind, and young man was snuffed out so suddenly and so completely. Added to this, I also learned that his father had died just a month earlier and having been an only child, I can only imagine what his mother is going through now.

I prepared myself to teach class this morning, not knowing if/how class would be affected by the shocking news. As the students filed into the class, a somber mood permeated the room and we ended up having an impromptu chat session about thoughts and feelings. Many of the women, mothers themselves, found themselves weeping in support of Ben's mother. I related to the ladies that Ben himself had been in training to become a yoga teacher and had found joy and peace in the practice. We decided to dedicate our practice to his memory and closed the class with a quote: "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

The shocking and sudden nature of Ben's death reminds me of Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech back in 2005. It reminds me to live every day to the fullest. To experience, in the present, each day, moment by moment. I can't say it any better than he did, so I'll paste some passages from his speech here and encourage everyone to breathe and truly live.

Excerpts from Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech, 2005:

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. 

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

{...}

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."