Self-Care

Oludeniz Beach, Turkey

Recently, I was feeling a bit sluggish at work. Responding to emails a little slower than normal, putting off filling out invoices, being a bit more haphazard with my accounts, etc. I started to notice the signs and symptoms of work exhaustion, known in its most severe form as the dreaded, "Burn-out." (Cue ominous dun-dun-duunnn music.) I wasn't quite at burn-out levels, I still enjoyed my job, still found joy and reward in my weekly sessions with clients but I didn't have that same level of vim and vigor for my practice that I had earlier in the year. All very self-aware of me to notice this, no? Well, I'll confess that it was somewhat brought to my attention when I was conducting a group clinical supervision session for a couple of graduate-level social work students. I was inquiring as to the students' level of burn-out and exploring what self-care strategies they had devised for themselves, if any. Which of course got the mental juices working and I slowly came to the realization that I, myself, have been neglecting that all-important concept of "self-care."

Self-care sounds just a bit too cheesy and jargon-y for me which is probably why it's not really in my normal vocabulary, but admittedly it gets right to the point. No matter what job you're in and no matter how much you love it, there will likely come a point when you find yourself to be inordinately tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally, by the mere thought of getting up in the morning and going to work. The red light blinking on your phone fills you with dread because you just know someone, or likely several someones, has left you a voicemail with tasks, requests, and possibly criticism.
When I was working at a desk job, I could always tell I was getting burnt-out when I couldn't bring myself to check my voicemails until mid-day. Checking them first thing in the morning was just too much for my exhausted little soul to handle. But what if there was an urgent message asking me to do something that morning and my level of burn-out had gotten so out of control, I ended up missing out on something really important? And that's when you realize that this whole burn-out thing is starting to affect your job performance and not just your mood. That other people who depend on you may be hurt just because you couldn't check your voicemail. And, by the way, I should make it clear that I'm not just talking about individuals with a job that results in a paycheck, I'm talking about stay-at-home parents and elder care-takers as well. Burn-out might be even worse for caregivers since it's not as kosher to say that you need a break from your teething baby or your ailing parent.

Obviously implementing a plan to prevent burn-out is incredibly important, not just for you, but potentially for others as well. The idea behind self-care is to take time out to assess your internal and external state. Ask yourself what your roommate, partner, or best friend might answer if they were asked how you're doing these days. How's your job satisfaction? Do you wake up tired even when you get a full night's rest yet jump out of bed with gusto on the weekends? Are you experiencing any new pains (if you're me, you feel it in your shoulders and lower back, ugh!)? Do you find yourself seeing imaginary clients on the bus or wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare about the report due tomorrow? If any of these questions is striking some sort of chord for you, then do not pass go, do not collect $200, immediately schedule some "me" time. There are usually three arenas of life that you should think about addressing when coming up with your own personalized self-care routine: physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual.

Physical: How's that exercise routine going? Has it fallen off to the wayside with all the extra work you've been doing? Yeah, I thought so. Try to bring some movement back into your life whether it's by taking a walk around the neighborhood, attending a yoga class during your lunch break, going dancing with friends, or even planting some new plants for spring. And if you can spring for it, think about getting a massage or a pedicure. (I'm thinking about that right now!)

Mental/Emotional: Reconnect with family and friends that you may have been neglecting of late. Restart some of your hobbies or take on a new one, particularly things that get the creative juices flowing. Learn to say "No" every once in a while when it's really not in your best interest to extend yourself even further whether with work, family, or friends. And, above all be kind to yourself, note your successes and achievements and have reasonable expectations of yourself.

Spiritual: However you define your spirituality whether in organized religion or in a daily mindful meditation practice, recommit yourself to taking care of your spirit. For some people, taking a walk in the early morning dawn can fill the spirit, for others achieving the stillness of the mind that a yoga practice can induce is a spiritual practice.

Now, getting to the picture at the top of the post. As I said, I was noting some of the early signs of burnout, so I bought a plane ticket and jetted off to Istanbul, Turkey a week later! I spent about three days in Istanbul in awe of beautiful mosques and headed down south to spend some time in the mountains. I rented a car and drove along the Aegean Sea coast and came across Oludeniz Beach, a.k.a. the Blue Lagoon. It was low season even though it was a balmy 85 degrees and there was no more than about ten other tourists on the beach. My eyes drank in the extraordinary blue of the water, the white of the rocky sand, and the might of the mountains surrounding the beach. It truly filled my spirit with joy and a stillness that is so often absent from life in the city. After some time at the beach, I headed back north to Selcuk to see the ruins of a great city called Ephesus. There's nothing like seeing ruins from so many thousands of years ago to give you some perspective on your life; all of a sudden grievances feel small and petty. After a fun-filled seven days I returned to D.C. recharged and ready to tackle my life with as much energy as I've had in the past recommitting myself to a regular ritual of self-care.