Making the Decision to Begin Therapy

I was lucky enough to guest post on Jessica McFadden's popular blog at http://aparentinsilverspring.com/2010/09/making-the-decision-to-begin-therapy.html.

On her blog, she posts about activities to do with children as well as parenting resources around the Washington, DC area. I decided to write a post about the arduous and oftentimes scary process of engaging in therapy. Read below for the full post or click on the link above to bring you to Jessica's blog!

Murmurs of  “Glad I’m not his mother” abound as a child of seven or eight has a rather loud temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery checkout line. The harried and embarrassed mother tries to shush her child while attempting to remain firm that, “No, you may not have a candy bar.” And finally after a Herculean effort at preserving her authority, she gives up and gives in, eager only to get out of the store as fast as possible.

How many times have you seen something like this? And how many times have you breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t you, and then immediately knocked on wood, crossed your fingers, or said a quick prayer? What’s a mom to do when she’s losing control over her child’s behavior and the stress is taking a toll on the whole family?

Most times behavior problems in kids and adolescents are simply an isolated affair or “kids being kids.” But sometimes it goes beyond the terrible twos or raging hormones.

Perhaps your family is grieving a recent death or going through a divorce. Maybe those calls home from school are becoming a more frequent occurrence and you sense that your child’s teacher is concerned about your home environment.

You’re feeling helpless and hopeless, doubting yourself and worried about your child’s future, or possibly overwhelmed by dealing with your own pain. Now may be the time to “seek professional help”, but what exactly does that mean?

These days you can find just about anything you need or didn’t know you needed on the Internet. Google “therapist DC” and you’ll be overwhelmed by hundreds of results. Other than simply searching “therapist,” you can also click on “Find a therapist” on www.psychologytoday.com. For instance, here’s my profile on their site. The folks at Psychology Today take the time to check each therapist’s credentials to ensure he or she is in good standing with local licensing boards so you don’t have to!

It is vitally important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. It’s usually a good idea to give someone a try for at least two to three sessions to assess your comfort level. If you’re not gelling by the third session, it is well within your right and responsibility to request a referral to someone else or engage in the search on your own again. Trust me, the therapist understands, would probably agree with you, and should be happy to make a referral.

No matter how long you engage in therapy, whether it be three months or three years, it’s important to try to be as consistent as possible in order to achieve the gains you’re looking for. That means making therapy appointments a priority and doing what you can to not allow other concerns to get in the way. I always use the analogy of in-flight emergency procedures. Though it may go against your instincts, you have to place the oxygen mask on your face first before you can help anyone else. Sometimes it’s the same with therapy, you need it in order to be a better provider and caregiver. You owe it to your loved once to make the time!

If you’re considering therapy, I congratulate you on being an attentive listener to your distress and for seeking assistance. Making the decision to enter into therapy is not an easy one and requires a great deal of courage to even entertain the thought. It can all seem a bit bewildering and overwhelming at first, but countless people improve their lives and their families health through therapy. A short blog post certainly doesn’t cover every question or worry, so feel free to shoot me an email if you have a question.
Good luck and take good care.