Ten Years Later

Yesterday morning, I settled into my seat on the Metro on my way to a meeting and opened up the day's Express newspaper. The issue delved into the effect that 9/11 has had on people ten years later. I hadn't thought too terribly much about 9/11 in recent years but as soon as I read only the caption of the picture I found tears pricking at my eyes. I paused to get myself together (I was on the metro after all), continued to read and got about three sentences in before I could feel a for-serious "ugly cry" welling up! First of all, I should say that I am not a crier. I used to wonder if I didn't have as much depth of emotion as others because of my general lack of tears. So, the fact that my emotions are still so close to the surface when I'm reminded of 9/11 is, in a way, surprising. Needless to say, I decided to tuck the paper back in my bag to be opened again in privacy later.


I can remember exactly where I was when I found out a plane had crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center just like I can remember exactly where I was when the Berlin Wall came down or when the OJ verdict came in. Certainly 9/11 is more vivid and packed with emotion likely for a whole host of reasons. The tragedy was on a much more personal scale than anything else I had experienced; I'm from New York, I smelled the odor of burning metal and tasted the ash that hung over the city for days. I'll never forget walking through the streets of the city and seeing all the "Missing" posters plastered one on top of the other. In the days immediately following the attack for what felt like weeks, every television station provided 24-hr news coverage. As more and more civilians with video footage sent their recordings to local media, the amount of visual detail about the day increased and we all got the chance to relive the towers coming down over and over and over again. Though it was painful to watch, I couldn't tear myself away from the images of people jumping to their deaths, ash-covered New Yorkers running as the towers came down, haggard and shell-shocked reporters giving up-to-the-minute recaps, news anchors reporting the number of body bags being ordered by the city, etc. Who can know just how many people developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder simply by watching the disaster happen on TV?

Though I'm proud that we're a nation that doesn't censor our media and strives for open and honest communication about events such as this (or at least that's what it should be like), I'm not actually sure that it wasn't an unhealthy amount of coverage that affected so many people's sense of safety and stability. In the months and years after the attack, as the United States found itself embroiled in wars on two different fronts, the slogan "Never Forget" was spoken proudly and patriotically when referencing the 9/11 terrorist attack. The sentiment to never forget, to always remember the lives that were so tragically snuffed out on that beautiful September morning is right and just and good, but sometimes it feels like I'm re-opening only slightly healed wounds by reliving every minute of that day. When you google "timeline 9/11" you'll find pages upon pages of websites offering up a "to the minute" play-by-play of September 11th, 2001. This event, perhaps more so than any other in history due to advances in media and technology, enables readers to relive that day in immense detail with photographs and videos to add to the emotional pain. Memorializing is a very healthy part of grieving but how much is too much? While we can't control the media, we can control how much of it we choose to take in personally. I plan on watching some of the stuff on t.v. tomorrow because it's too important to miss, but there will come a point when I'm going to decide that I'll do the rest of my remembering on my own.

However you plan on spending the day tomorrow, I wish you peace, joy, and hope.