Happy four days after Thanksgiving everyone! Hope you've all had a wonderfully resting and relaxing holiday filled with joy and turkey or tofurkey!
So, I seem to be on a poetry kick lately because I was listening to a lecture on mindfulness and psychotherapy the other day and was struck by this poem they included by Rumi.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~Rumi
It's quite a beautiful poem, no? And it can also be some really good advice. Our natural instinct is to run towards pleasure and happiness and run away from sorrow and pain. But what if I said that sometimes, if not alot of times, it's by embracing and confronting the negative that you can become more okay with it, less anxious, and decrease its impact on your life? We've all heard the phrase, "running away from your problems," and we all know that typically those problems tend to catch up with you if they were ever even gone for a moment to begin with. A lovely side product of embracing the negative as well as the positive is that over time the negative seems to diminish a bit, leaving you generally happier than you were when you were desperately clutching at happiness. It can be tough to do and feels a bit wacky to think of actually embracing or welcoming with open arms our trials and tribulations. Often we put so much energy into denying those things or pretending they aren't there, all the while living with the anxiety that they may rear their ugly heads tomorrow. How much of a relief might it be not to have to expend all that energy in fear and instead directing it towards dealing with our pain and suffering. Try it and see what might happen. Oh, and let me know how it works or doesn't work out for you!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Self-Absorption
It feels like I've been saying "get out of your own head" a lot these days.
Anxiety can be a pretty pervasive concern for a lot of folks. Many times, we can boil anxiety down to a constant litany of negative self-talk in our brains which dictates our behavior and our emotions. The daily "I'm not good at this, I'll never succeed at this, Why would someone think I'm good?, I'm going to fail, I'm not going to say the right thing, I screwed up, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I'm not smart enough, Why me?, etc, etc, etc. There's a lot of "I" and "Me" in those statements.
I'm reminded of a poem I once read by Thomas E. Brown:
If thou could'st empty all thyself of self
Like to a shell disinhabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say, 'This is not dead,'
And fill thee with Himself instead.
But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes, He says, 'This is enow,'
Unto itself - 'twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me.'
Now obviously, there is a strong religious intent to this poem, but if we were to take the religion out of it but keep a sense of the spirituality or interconnectedness with the world around us or even replace "He" with "Life," it can take on meaning for everyone.
If we could just empty ourselves of Self; get out of our own way, then might paths open up to us that were hitherto unseen? (Yes, all of a sudden I've developed a floweriness to my writing.) If we could get out of our own heads, who knows how much Life we could be living - in the present moment? It's those times when I've been least concerned with myself that I've felt like I'm most fully living. How often do you think you're truly living?
Anxiety can be a pretty pervasive concern for a lot of folks. Many times, we can boil anxiety down to a constant litany of negative self-talk in our brains which dictates our behavior and our emotions. The daily "I'm not good at this, I'll never succeed at this, Why would someone think I'm good?, I'm going to fail, I'm not going to say the right thing, I screwed up, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I'm not smart enough, Why me?, etc, etc, etc. There's a lot of "I" and "Me" in those statements.
I'm reminded of a poem I once read by Thomas E. Brown:
If thou could'st empty all thyself of self
Like to a shell disinhabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say, 'This is not dead,'
And fill thee with Himself instead.
But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes, He says, 'This is enow,'
Unto itself - 'twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me.'
Now obviously, there is a strong religious intent to this poem, but if we were to take the religion out of it but keep a sense of the spirituality or interconnectedness with the world around us or even replace "He" with "Life," it can take on meaning for everyone.
If we could just empty ourselves of Self; get out of our own way, then might paths open up to us that were hitherto unseen? (Yes, all of a sudden I've developed a floweriness to my writing.) If we could get out of our own heads, who knows how much Life we could be living - in the present moment? It's those times when I've been least concerned with myself that I've felt like I'm most fully living. How often do you think you're truly living?
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Dealing with a Loss
I was at the office yesterday meeting with clients when I received an email from a former coworker at the gym at which I teach yoga classes. It was entitled, "Sad News." Sad news indeed, I found out that one of my coworkers, a personal trainer at NW Sport and Health, had died yesterday in a freak accident while on his way to work. A tree branch had fallen, knocking him unconscious and caused such grave injuries that he passed yesterday morning. Ben was a wonderfully sweet and happy man, generous with his smiles and warm personality. Even when I first met him, he went out of his way to make me feel welcome and a part of the Sport and Health family. I'm so deeply saddened and shocked that such a good, kind, and young man was snuffed out so suddenly and so completely. Added to this, I also learned that his father had died just a month earlier and having been an only child, I can only imagine what his mother is going through now.
I prepared myself to teach class this morning, not knowing if/how class would be affected by the shocking news. As the students filed into the class, a somber mood permeated the room and we ended up having an impromptu chat session about thoughts and feelings. Many of the women, mothers themselves, found themselves weeping in support of Ben's mother. I related to the ladies that Ben himself had been in training to become a yoga teacher and had found joy and peace in the practice. We decided to dedicate our practice to his memory and closed the class with a quote: "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
The shocking and sudden nature of Ben's death reminds me of Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech back in 2005. It reminds me to live every day to the fullest. To experience, in the present, each day, moment by moment. I can't say it any better than he did, so I'll paste some passages from his speech here and encourage everyone to breathe and truly live.
Excerpts from Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech, 2005:
I prepared myself to teach class this morning, not knowing if/how class would be affected by the shocking news. As the students filed into the class, a somber mood permeated the room and we ended up having an impromptu chat session about thoughts and feelings. Many of the women, mothers themselves, found themselves weeping in support of Ben's mother. I related to the ladies that Ben himself had been in training to become a yoga teacher and had found joy and peace in the practice. We decided to dedicate our practice to his memory and closed the class with a quote: "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."
The shocking and sudden nature of Ben's death reminds me of Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech back in 2005. It reminds me to live every day to the fullest. To experience, in the present, each day, moment by moment. I can't say it any better than he did, so I'll paste some passages from his speech here and encourage everyone to breathe and truly live.
Excerpts from Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech, 2005:
"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
{...}
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Homework: Read this Article
Hey there folks, I seem to be on a blog posting roll this week. Probably because this course I'm taking is endlessly thought provoking!
So, I came across this article on Psychology Today and am very interested in responding to it and posing some questions and statements on the differences between Western and Eastern philosophies that makes acceptance of mindfulness so difficult for us at times. But before I do that, I thought I'd give you all a chance to read it so you'll know what the heck I'm talking about!
Happy reading! (Also, I have no idea at all why the lines of the article following are highlighted. My limited technical skills have been trumped on this one, my apologies if it's bothersome! Just head straight on over to the article, it's much more pleasant to read there!)
So, I came across this article on Psychology Today and am very interested in responding to it and posing some questions and statements on the differences between Western and Eastern philosophies that makes acceptance of mindfulness so difficult for us at times. But before I do that, I thought I'd give you all a chance to read it so you'll know what the heck I'm talking about!
Happy reading! (Also, I have no idea at all why the lines of the article following are highlighted. My limited technical skills have been trumped on this one, my apologies if it's bothersome! Just head straight on over to the article, it's much more pleasant to read there!)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Pumpkins, Burning Leaves, and Apple Picking, oh my!
I fully recognize that my next statement may be quite polarizing and controversial.
I LOVE FALL; especially because it means the end of summer!!!!
Okay, go ahead, call me names, I can take it and I won't back down. For me, it's quite the toss-up of what I like better, fall or spring. The thing is I'm pretty sure I like winter a smidge more than summer too. (feel like I should have whispered that last sentence)
Anyway, beginning yesterday there was that particular nip in the air that heralds the coming of fall. Don't get me wrong, I love sand between my toes and diving into an ocean wave, but I hate mosquitoes, sweating, moving from air-conditioned box to air-conditioned box, feeling lazy because the heat has sucked the energy out of me, and not being able to run outdoors. (Some people still run outside in the dead of summer, God bless the crazy fools!)
Today I went to Starbuck's and got my first pumpkin spice latte of the season. I sipped all that yummy goodness while taking a stroll in my neighborhood park under blue skies and crisp sunshine. I had long sleeves on, jeans, and sandals. True and utter bliss. I took in the sounds of the kids playing, checked out what might be ripe in the community vegetable garden, felt the slight breeze on my skin; everything felt more colorful, more rich, even my coffee tasted better! Now that I'm thinking of it though, maybe this is also due to the fact that I've just started a "Mindfulness and Psychotherapy" course. In my experience as a therapist, I've learned to doubt that events are just coincidence. Most often, when something feels different within, especially if it seems out-of-the-blue, something else coincides with it, and that other thing ends up being the source of the change, whether positive or negative. The following is a scenario that happens more often than not during a session:
 |
| Source: http://www.naturepicoftheday.com/archive/2008-11-05 |
Okay, go ahead, call me names, I can take it and I won't back down. For me, it's quite the toss-up of what I like better, fall or spring. The thing is I'm pretty sure I like winter a smidge more than summer too. (feel like I should have whispered that last sentence)
Anyway, beginning yesterday there was that particular nip in the air that heralds the coming of fall. Don't get me wrong, I love sand between my toes and diving into an ocean wave, but I hate mosquitoes, sweating, moving from air-conditioned box to air-conditioned box, feeling lazy because the heat has sucked the energy out of me, and not being able to run outdoors. (Some people still run outside in the dead of summer, God bless the crazy fools!)
Today I went to Starbuck's and got my first pumpkin spice latte of the season. I sipped all that yummy goodness while taking a stroll in my neighborhood park under blue skies and crisp sunshine. I had long sleeves on, jeans, and sandals. True and utter bliss. I took in the sounds of the kids playing, checked out what might be ripe in the community vegetable garden, felt the slight breeze on my skin; everything felt more colorful, more rich, even my coffee tasted better! Now that I'm thinking of it though, maybe this is also due to the fact that I've just started a "Mindfulness and Psychotherapy" course. In my experience as a therapist, I've learned to doubt that events are just coincidence. Most often, when something feels different within, especially if it seems out-of-the-blue, something else coincides with it, and that other thing ends up being the source of the change, whether positive or negative. The following is a scenario that happens more often than not during a session:
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